World of Warcraft Memories

Posted: January 1, 2011 in MMORPGs

I was telling Zerky (you may remember him from my previous post) about my delve back into World of Warcraft. We started talking about our old times on the private servers. I wanted to share some fond memories with you all.

1) Siamese Cockroaches

Once upon a time, in Undercity, we were all hanging out. There was an update on the private server we were on, and we found a cockroach vendor. (He wasn’t previously available to us.) We all thought it was odd someone would actually WANT a cockroach pet. But that didn’t stop Zerky. He was determined to find homes for all these cockroaches! Surely, they couldn’t have had a good home with the NPC, who was stationed on the floor of the Trade Quarter, never moving. I mean, the guy didn’t even have a cardboard box, for god’s sake!

So Zerky made it his mission to find homes for all these homeless cockroaches. Within a few short hours, the server erupted. “Why is Berzerk sending me cockroaches???” Alliance and Horde alike were wondering if Zerky’s account got hacked. Soon, people were getting angry.

Defeated in his plight, Zerky got a most fabulous idea: Why not just send ALL the cockroaches to his friends! Soon, my mailbox was full of cockroaches. My boyfriend’s was full as well. One by one, our guild chat is erupting with “lols” and “lmaos” as our mailboxes are filled one by one with cockroaches.

The story is that the cockroaches are siamese, and can’t be separated. So we took our cockroaches and gave them homes. (Mostly via the Delete button but don’t tell him I told you that!)

2) Invisible Caribou

After WotLK was released, we were running around discovering new areas, trying to find places to level up. (The good places were taken by the server admin’s guild. Go figure.) My boyfriend was leveling somewhere in one of the WotLK areas. All of a sudden, he is attacked. He’s being attacked by a caribou, but he can’t see it. I happen to be near where he is, and run over to him to see this so-called “Invisible Caribou.” He died right as I got there.

Now, to his defense, the caribou WAS, in fact, invisible. It was some kind of server bug. But that didn’t stop the poking fun. Zerky, in all his Zerky-ness, kept the joke going for months. He changed my boyfriend’s rank in the guild to “Caribou Pwned.” He made a “motivational poster” and posted it on the server website. We all got a good laugh, and my boyfriend, in his awesomeness, took it in stride. He became kind of a celebrity on the server after that. And here we are, about 3-4 years later, and the joke is still going. There were many lulz.

3) Finwe

Finwe was a (his words) “14 year old faggot.” To be completely PC, he was 14 years old and gay. He was also some Alliance (I think gnome?) Mage.

We got a group together to do Halls of Lightning or some crap like that. Finwe was in our party. It was me, my boyfriend, Zerky, Suntress (our awesome healer), Danty (a warrior in our guild), and Finwe. Keep in mind, everyone but Finwe was in our guild. So general banter back and fourth was expected. Finwe was either going to join in the fun, or simply shut up.

That’s not exactly how it went down.

Danty called Zerky a faggot, not because they were fighting, but because that’s how we were. It was a term of endearment. And since Finwe has already called himself a faggot in world chat, there was no reason to think he would be offended, right?

Wrong.

Finwe, literally, flipped out. As he was ranting how the term “faggot” is offensive to the gay community, and how we’re going to hell for being bigots, I imagined this little gnome (I’m pretty sure he was a gnome) doing backflips as he was lecturing us (while calling us inconsiderate pricks).

Now you would think we would get all offended and kick him from the party (which is in full swing by now). But nah, we kept him around for entertainment value. Did we NEED him? No. I was doing the majority of ranged DPS (as a warlock) because he was too busy raging at his keyboard. It was entertaining, to say the least.

Then he finally figured out A) We weren’t going to kick him and B) We weren’t going to report him. So he proceeded to pull everything in the zone in an attempt to kill us. It backfired. We ended up killing everything, and I’m imagining the smoke coming out of this guy’s ears like an old Elmer Fudd cartoon.

Finwe ended up getting himself banned for calling the admin a “communist nazi” for not banning us for Danty calling Zerky a faggot. But it was epic lulz all the way around.

4) For The Horde

Back on the old server (the one I went in great lengths about last entry), there was yet another Gnome Mage who thought it would be wicked awesome to use hacks for PvP. I was still a GM at the time, so when I got tickets concerning this, I went invisible and followed him. Sure enough, he was in Stormwind, killing Horde players fron behind walls, in the sky, wherever.

So just for fun, Zerky and I made completely new characters on our GM accounts, leveled them up to 70, and infiltrated Stormwind. We went there and sat in the middle of everything. We didn’t attempt to kill anyone (it was against the GM’s Code of Conduct, afterall.)

Soon, the gnome mage (whose name evades me at this point, it’s been so long), hones in on us. He starts attacking Zerky, who was a Priest. Noticing his health isn’t going down at all, and he’s naked, he starts cursing Zerky out, claiming he’s hacking. Then he hones in on me, and the same result. My health isn’t moving. So he sends a GM ticket, claiming that me and Zerky are hacking, how he tried to kill us and our health stayed the same. Zerky and I got a good laugh about this in GM chat.

I laugh. I say to Zerky in /say “Hey Zerky, did you see this ticket? How stupid is this guy!”

The gnome mage finally realizes that he just reported 2 GMs for being GMs. Then we kill him.

Now I should say, the GM Code of Conduct DID say you can’t kill PCs, BUT it also said if you are attacked, or someone gets the bright idea that they can use you as a skill up dummy, that you have every right to kill them.

You would think the mage got the message, but nope. He kept attacking us. And we kept killing him. He reported us to the admin (which wasn’t me at the time) and the admin laughed at him. Not only that, but the admin disabled his hacks. The gnome mage disappeared. I guess he was only good cause of his hacks.

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